He never saw true beauty till tonight..,
oh the skies rumble and the clouds threaten to pour, right now and right here. 've been missing the rain for a long long time, how glad i am to see it once again. (:
i've just finished the last novel i have in hand of robert ludlum; as usual, im trapped in a whirl of thoughts. but its not all. i feel abandoned too, the sort of emptiness. why? i feel it all too well yet do not understand it.
the week's journey has been rough. firstly the common tests are back. and im one of the top! top on the failing list, including 2 maths and potentially biology. oh well i do reap what i sow since i didnt put much effort into them. but whats worrying is those who's efforts are as little did weren't so bad? cut is cut i probably shouldnt spend my time lamenting. instead, instead. *shrugs*
then of all, i asked her out. probably quite stupid and unexpected of myself cos i just actually got a pathetic haircut and naturally, a similar state. of all times, i wonder, why then? not on my best yet i could not wait; spurred on by the aching heart. before long, before i knew it, i had started to regret my in-decision. its not that i don't want to see her. i yearn so much just for the sight of her, yet i wouldn't want her to know it; to see me. soon, i was fearful. the feelings there yet they do not come out, totally frightened. oh wouldnt you just save me and give me a tinge of your sweetness, a touch of your love. now you leave me stranded, so lost, and i wonder whether it had been just an act of friendliness? or probably already on the verge of abandoning a helpless little fluff.
as frail as hope might seem where the week had been rough, it was not without some light shed upon. my class had o's orals on wednesday. it went smoothly and i even thought i was enjoying myself with the two examiners within the room. mine had been the one involving clowns, entertainment and amusement. during the conversation on "what amuses you?", i went for television sitcoms and funny advertisements and was about to describe the volkswagen one when the male caucasian teacher stopped me? the other, a woman, continued to feed me questions and when everything for that question was over, the male caucasian asked "could you please fill me in on the advertisment you were talking about just now? i didnt mean to stop you." :b of course i eagerly shared it with him. just glad everything turned out fine (: for those who havent took it, no fret! it'll all turn out okay.
He hadn't seen her for some time. He, busy at passing his degree with honors, and she, away in a trip for her research. It had been hell feverish for both. Already, it was cruelly taking a toil on them.
"Arghhh..." It had been no use trying to cramp more into the nearly packed mind. Pushing his books aside, he reached for that photo frame. Like a little boy rewarded with candies, his eyes beamed admist the frustration and held it close to his heart. A mere sight of her was sufficient, like a sweet after bitter medicine. Soon, his eyes grew heavy and his head was on the table. With the picture still clutched in his hands, he felt himself floating away into the quietness of his room throughout the dormitory.
Glancing up at the night sky, the stars blinked, as though winking at her, telling her they understood. Leaning on the window, she wondered about him, who was at the other end of the world, while others were already snoozing soundly in the warmth of their blankets. Perhaps, perhaps, the stars would tell him how much she missed him, how much she missed his touch, his fingers brushing aside her hair or holding her close and tight to him. Still, the stars continued to shimmer; feigning pretence of her silent pleas.
The week had ended. Everyone heaved a long sigh of relief. The weekend and holidays for the Nation's brithday would allow for time to breathe; a well deserved break for those who had been burning midnight oil for the past few nights. He walked back to the dormitory, meanwhile deciding his plans for the next few days. But it would be nothing unusual; the weekends catching up on his much needed sleep or possibly doing some reading and in the next two days, he might just allocate his time on idling, probably thinking of her, ending up dozed off, empty. If not, he could maybe, maybe pick up some notes and revise them, but, it would have to depend on his mood. Like a blot from the blue, he remembered Monday was a day not to be missed. Putting aside the celebrations, there was her arrival. She would be returning that evening. And the thought of it made his eyes sparkled with excitement, his heart to pound faster and his breath cut short; evident of the growing fever.
The weekends blew past like a breeze as he either slept or read them away. And then it was Monday. The morning sun looked different. Of course, it had been just as usual but to him, the start of the day spelled differently. Instead, he could not wait for the sun to set. His anxiety in the morning had boiled down by the afternoon. His short-lived patience, if there had been any, was soon filled with drowsiness; waiting had drained much of him and he was exhausted. True enough, he closed his eyes for forty winks but deamland by then had seduced him.
Staring into the clouds beyond the small window, her mind wandered elsewhere. She was struggling to contain all that was inside her; awaiting to erupt.
"Dear passengers..please return to your seats and fasten your seat belts. We will be landing shortly..."
Upon hearing the annoucement, she was soon overwhelmed by restlessness and her heart bounced about as the plane began its descend. At the arrival hall, she rushed to place a call; so much wanting to inform him her touch down.
"This number is currenly unaviable, please try again later." She replaced the receiver several times. Each time she had been greeted with the same response. Her heart ached in disappointment; so much for wanting to hear his voice yet even such could not be granted. Dejected, she reluctantly placed the receiver back in place. Finding her suitcase, she dragged it along with her laden heart to the taxi stand.
He woke to find the room enclosed in darkness. Then he panicked. The clock flashed 8:00 already. She must have returned a few hours ago; his previous intentions of fetching her as a surprise had terribly failed. How could he have overslept? Wasting no more time, he grabbed his phone and raced out of the campus.
He paced along the road madly, taxis were few at his time; especially when it was a public holiday and at a university. Each mintue passed felt like another slice in his heart. At long last, he spotted a cab and hopped on with no hesitation. It was already half past eight.
The ride would take at least forty minutes; he knew that but still, he continuously urged the driver to clock his best. Familiar landmarks were soon sighted, and he knew he was near. He whipped out his phone, which he had been unsure why he recieved no calls; now he understood. He had forgotten to swtich on his phone, it was unbelieveable how absent minded he had been. Upon operating it, the cab halted; he had reached her apartment, a few minutes before nine.
Climbing the steps hastily, he stopped at times to catch his breath. The lift, coincidentally, had been out of order; she stayed on the eight storey.
Escalating from the seventh storey, there were sudden loud explosions, and night became day as the dark sky was lit by bright lights streaming in the pitch blackness, like comets deciding to go waywards. He stood to watch the fireworks and took out his phone.
"Hello?" Her voice, so sweet, melting his heart in the instant.
"Can you see the fireworks? If you hadn't, go to the corridor.." He walked slowly up to the eighth storey and stood at the corner.
"Yes I see them. Aren't they lovely?" Concealed in the dark corner, she hadn't seen him but he could; and he saw her leaning on the ledge of the corridor.
"Hold on.." He walked towards her irresistably.
"..okay.." Too captivated by the beautiful displays of fireworks to notice.
And he moved behind her; and gently slid his arms around her waist, holding her tightly.
Momentarily, she had been afraid, but she recognised that touch; his touch, almost immediately.
"Yes..aren't they lovely? Just like you are.." His whispers tickled her ear softly. His eyes locked on hers as they held each other tightly that perhaps even if the world had come down upon them, it would do no good to seperate them. The fireworks were soon drowned in their presence for they indulged and immersed in each other's amour...
Don't you think fireworks are lovely? I don't know but thats how i feel. The rain hadn't come; just the works of passing noisy clouds. Well, perhaps perhaps, the fireworks would one day drown me away with her. (:
He's fought and he's fallen
He's on his knees before he's on his feet
A sinister romantic
Oh, he's about to be and she's about to see
Teachin' torches to burn bright
She's hanging on the cheek of night
A snowy dove trooping with crows
He never saw true beauty till tonight
Singing of His love at 5:38 p.m., Sunday, Aug. 15, 2004